Practical Tips To Help With Toddler Bedtime Battles
You’ve made it through the baby stage. Your toddler is talking, playing, asserting independence - and suddenly, bedtime has become a battleground. One more drink, one more story, one more hug… anything to delay sleep. Sound familiar?
Toddler bedtime battles are incredibly common and, we’ll be honest, incredibly frustrating too - especially at the end of a long day. But bedtime doesn’t have to be a power struggle. With the right tools, routines and mindset, you can bring more calm (and less chaos) to your evenings.
Let’s break it down.
Why bedtime battles start in toddlerhood
Toddlers are busy mastering the art of independence. Pushing boundaries is part of how they learn, but bedtime can be one of the first big areas where that newfound willpower shows up.
Here are some common reasons for bedtime resistance:
- Testing boundaries – “What happens if I say no?”
- FOMO – They don’t want to miss out on life happening without them
- Overtiredness – A tired toddler is more emotional, less flexible, and harder to settle
- Not tired enough – If the nap schedule or activity level was off that day
- Big transitions – Starting daycare, a new sibling, moving to a bed… these all impact sleep
- Seeking connection – For some toddlers, bedtime battles are their way of asking for more one-on-one time
So how can we make bedtime better?
There’s no perfect routine or script - because no two toddlers are the same. But here are the tools we regularly recommend to families navigating this season:
1. Stick to a consistent bedtime routine
Toddlers feel safer when they know what’s coming next. A consistent wind-down routine (bath, story, cuddle, lights out) gives their body and brain cues that sleep is near. Try to keep this routine around 20–30 minutes and follow the same order each night.
🕒 Pro tip: Start winding down at the same time, not based on their behaviour. Waiting until they’re “tired enough” often leads to overtiredness.
2. Give controlled choices
Toddlers crave control. Offering small, guided choices gives them a sense of autonomy without turning the night upside down.
💡 “Would you like the red pyjamas or the blue ones?”
💡 “Do you want to brush teeth first or read your book first?”
Avoid open-ended choices - too much freedom = overwhelm + stalling.
3. Avoid screen time in the hour before bed
Even calming shows can be too stimulating before sleep. Blue light delays the release of melatonin (our sleep hormone), which makes it harder for your toddler to fall and stay asleep.
Swap screens for stories, gentle play or quiet songs in that final hour.
4. Use connection before correction
A toddler clinging to you at bedtime might be asking for connection, not just stalling. Spend 10–15 minutes of intentional, tech-free time together in the lead-up to bedtime. It can help fill their cup and make separation easier.
🧸 This could be building blocks, colouring, or reading a favourite book together - anything they love, with your full attention.
5. Set clear (and loving) boundaries
Yes, toddlers need warmth and connection… but they also need clear limits. If bedtime has become a two-hour negotiation, it’s time to reset expectations.
Explain the routine, stick to it calmly, and try not to give in to repeated requests (as hard as that can be!).
💬 “After one book, it’s time to sleep. I’ll come check on you in 5 minutes.”
Reassure, but stay firm. Consistency builds trust - and better sleep.
6. Keep them physically and mentally active during the day
If your toddler isn’t getting enough physical activity, outdoor time or stimulation, their body might not be ready for sleep come bedtime.
A balance of outdoor play, social interaction and some independent play throughout the day can help regulate their energy and support sleep readiness.
When nothing seems to be working…
Some toddlers genuinely struggle to wind down. If bedtime regularly involves tantrums, tears or drawn-out resistance (and it's affecting your whole household), it might be time for a more tailored plan.
At SleepBaker, we work with families to create realistic bedtime routines that actually work - with strategies that support both sleep and emotional wellbeing.
Whether you’re navigating a toddler sleep regression, recent transitions, or just need help getting bedtime back on track, we’re here to help.
🌙 Need 1:1 support with toddler bedtime routines? Book a consultation with our team